When life misspells its self…

This is exactly what I told my client, a 28 year old lady from the West coast of Africa. Fiona had migrated to Australia nearly three years ago with the brightest hope of joining her now ex-hubby to make a family. She was a very bright and smart lady who also had plans of saving some money to begin a postgraduate study. All her colleagues, at least most of whom she was in touch with then, were either blessed with marriages or a postgraduate degree of a sort or work. They were people she had shared similar believes and hopes with back home in her country.

Now finding her self in this new country and having to face the reality was just too unbearable for her. To her all she had hoped for was nothing more than just a puff of smoke. She broke down into uncontrollable tears as she narrated one heartbreaking incident after the other to me.
“I believed God was going to make it work. I trusted this man and went lengths to please him. But in less than six months, I realised that I was actually never loved.” We both pulled out one tissue after the other trying to mob our tears as her sad love story filled the atmosphere. ”After all those verbal and physical abuse, he decided to abandon me, where to only heaven knew. If you see me today, wearing clothes, having a place to lay my head, with food to eat or other, then it was all by the help of well wishers and friends. At least, I did not die”.

I nodded quietly still biting into my lower lip as she brought her story to a rather enlightening end. The three minutes of silence that followed helped both of us to re think over those issues. Issues that to me were actually happening to many a new migrant and women generally. Those issues classified as taboos, no tell secrets –at least not until they were too late. For engraved into the African mentally were hundreds of such ideologies that did nothing but push their women into dark and forsaken places, only reserved for the souls of the dead.

But today there I was sitting face to face with someone, who after having borne it all, had stood on her feet and had made some concrete decisions concerning her and for her self. Such a woman was bound to make it, no matter what.
Finally, I found the right words after that moment of dead silence. Words that could go for any individual facing any of life’s challenges. It was a simple one but very true.

“When life misspells itself you, show it your own dictionary”.